Its five years exact today. All from a chance encounter. It was like those movie moments where the guy spots the girl on the other side of the crowded dance floor. I’ll admit I was on the prowl that day and you weren’t the type I was chasing. My past experiences told me I needed a change from those like you but I couldn’t help it. Two weeks later our turbulent 5 year relationship started.
I recall fussing over every aspect of you on the day you met my parents. Mother obviously disapproved. She could not understand why I left Clarissa for you. Clarissa was a family girl while your revealing lines lead her to think you’re leading me astray. She never expected us to last – but neither did I.
Although we weren’t each others first we weren’t as experienced as we thought. Everyday I’ll learn more and more about you and slowly I began to understand you needs. Sneaking you out in the middle of the night to listen to you moan and scream. Learning your limits of aggression and gently arousing you to reach your potential. Having the neighbours open their windows to disprove what we were doing that late at night. Every moment with you was a mischievous adventure.
The earliest dispute between us to which I can date was February 2008. Our day trip to Goulburn seemed to be the catalyst of it all. I can see now how my aggressive behaviour changed our relationship. Even before the trip you suffered tremendous abusive from me and without a sound you held on and never failed me. I kept pushing you and forgot that everyone has their limit – even you. It was the first time I saw you snap back at me. Throwing me right and left before stopping and letting me realise what just happened. True it was my fault. I was too inexperienced and aggressive. But I didn’t see it that way, there was always a part of me who blamed you for not being good enough to handle me.
Our late night rendezvous at Brooklyn in 2010 was the last straw for me. Memories of regret that night will forever be tattooed in my mind. Together we caressed every line and felt every bump – pushing each other to the absolute limit. It was inevitable that one of us would get hurt. That night it was you. And for those three months you were away rehabilitating I went into denial. I, regrettably, did not blame myself but your inability to stay on the same level as me. Within a month of finishing rehab I start to change and mould you into what I wanted you to be.
I still loved you very much at that point. I’ve never stopped loving you. Even as I’m writing this my feelings have not changed since we first met. I was just in denial. Buying expensive branded luxuries to change the way you looked and performed. It never occurred to me these things would change your behaviour and attitude so much it became the reason for us growing so far apart. Yes, you have become the orgasmic addiction I’ve craved for so long and you can handle anything I throw at you but the finer things of our relationship are lost. I’m no longer comfortable around you. I avoid every possible object that we go past because your shoes are made for flat surfaces only. It has become a struggle to keep up and continuously cater for your needs on our outings. We use to be inseparable – spending every day together – now I’ll be lucky to see you once a week.
We can never go back to how we were. But there was never a moment through all this where I did not love you. This is to put it all down on record. I still adore every aspect of your body and you still make my heart skip a beat. You are still who I go to after a bad day. You are still who I seek to put a smile on my face. You are still the car for me.